Dear Diary,

It is a normal day for me. I have nothing much to say about this day. I just want to appreciate the day I have. No matter it is good or bad I still appreciate it. But, if you really want me to talk about my day, I would like to say that my Math T homework is still unfinished for the past exercise given by my Math T teacher. I am feeling worried about the unfinished exercise because I don’t like my exercise to be incomplete. But I have no choice because I don’t know how to do some of the given questions. Whenever me and my classmates were interpreting the complicated question, other teacher had came in and we will have no choice but just to put away the question we were analyzing for a long time. It’s really getting complicated for my Form 6 school life but I believe this will also be the best school life I will have for the last 2 years I have in my high school. I will cherish the time I spend here no matter bad things happen or good things happen I will still cherish every moment I have because the bad and the good things that mix together are the things that will further make your life really interesting.

And I have to admit I didn’t do my exercise routine anymore because I feel that if I continue on doing so the I may become much more thinner and more serious, I will lose all the muscle I build whole heartedly all this time. I know I will lose my muscle eventually if I didn’t exercise too. But I have to eat more first so to increase my body weight then I will have a bigger chance of getting the muscle I want. But I will not give up muscle building in the future because building strong muscle is my interest and I want to realize that dream of getting a well sculptured body one day. I will not give up my dream and I will not waste away the time I have now as a teenager where I can do a lot of things I may not do in the future. I will find a way to realize the dream of mine of getting a healthy body in my teen although I could not achieve my dream of getting a muscular figure right now. I will prepare myself as best as I could in physical so I could allow myself to build muscle faster and more easier in the future because I believe my body at that time will be well adapted to the weight I put onto my body to build muscle. So, I will try my best!

Written in 2-7-13

Dear Diary,

Today, the haze is still thick. While I was driving to school this morning, I could feel the thickness of the haze in my city but the visibility was still acceptable. I think then air pollution index due to the haze in my city is not as serious as what happen at the south of Penisular of Malaysia. I am also thankful for the rain today that has reduced the haze in Bukit Mertajam and thank to the wind that has blown away all the haze so the air in Penang is not so sickening anymore. Although the wind was blowing and the rain was pouring down (not heavily), our curriculum’s teacher announced that the Tuesday assembly was cancelled and we had to go back to our respective classes for our lesson. Other than this, everything was going fine.

And another significant event for today is we have tons of homework of Math T. The homework is too much until I cannot finish it today. But, I feel excited about all these homework because I never do such an amount of homework for a mathematical subject before. Besides, I appreciate the homework given because I realize the homework given by other Math T’s teacher is not much. So, from these lots of Math T homework, I am able to improve my Math T by leaps and bounds. But, the rule is I have to finish all the homework given or ask for the questions you don’t understand. By being proactive will definitely costs you nothing but give you more advantages in understanding Math T and other subjects too. Although I have not finish my homework yet but I will try to finish it out tomorrow morning if I have time because now I feel really sleepy and need a rest.

I do not regret about me watching youtube’s video all afternoon because I consider this as my goal in achieving a better English level in the future. I set my goal to finish 1 page of video from 1 channel every day after I finish my homework. But, clearly I have not finish my homework first and have watched the videos first. Although I have messed up with my timetable but I am thankful that I have finished 1 of the goal of my day. So, I still feeling statisfied with my day and I will wake up next day to welcome the day where I set on the new challenges and feeling thankful again in the end of the day.

Written in 25-6-13

Dear Diary,

Today is a typical day for me. I drive to school and park my car under a tree not far away from my school’s gate. But the problem with my day is I cannot park my car properly under the tree. I cannot even do a side parking. It is a totally disaster for me of not able to do a side parking. Although I do not park my car in a perfect manner, I still do not care about it anyway. Nope, just kidding I care about it! Do you know how embarrassed I am of not able to park my car nicely? People walk by and stare at me and my car and like thinking, “What’s that man doing there and what’s wrong with his car, it’s looked different.”

In the end, I am glad that my car does not end up being scratched by other people’s car as they drove by and I am glad that my car does not cause any big problem for the traffic there. I appreciate my car on able to withstand my bad driving skill and the misery I put him in. I am sorry but thankful at the same time for my car of carrying me to then school and back from the school every day. Being thankful is another of my principle I am going to implement into my life starting from now.

Today, I am also responsible for the Thursday librarian duty in the Form 6 library. So, I go there pretty early after the school break. After that, I go to have my lunch and back again to the library to wait for my duty time. Yes, I manage to go through all the obstacles during my duty. (I consider the time I spent in the library as the big time in my life, technically one of my big one) I forget how I suppose to run the library. For example I do not even know what to do for me as a librarian. But I am still having a great day because I am getting the chance to wrap new books for the library that the school bought for the F6 library so we student don’t always complain about the lack of reference books in the library for our reference. But the big thing is I get to handle the books people want to borrow from the library. I get to key in the book people want to borrow and stamped the date of return to the book. (Oh my god! That is so fun!)

Finally I really have to admit that my language is really sucked. But, I will always improve and I believe one day I would achieve my goal of being not hesitated when writing an English essay and eloquent in speaking to people with English.

Written in 20-6-13

Dear Diary,

Today, I am trying the two sets 7 minutes workout for the first time. Although it was hard, I succeeded to finish it anyway.  But I did not do it properly and completely. Most of the exercise I done is wrong and it did not stimulate my body properly and leaving the golden opportunity of building a big and lean muscle to be skipped away. It did not mean that I did not want to build strong muscle but I could not stand the pressure and force that put on my muscle anymore. My muscle seemed like not strong enough to finish every exercise properly. But, from what I had read on the internet about the body building facts, it was said that the muscle will rebuild itself if it torn off from doing exercise so to form a much stronger and bulkier muscle to withstand a much more bigger force acting on it.

I will promise myself to keep on doing the exercise twice from this day onwards because I really want to build a strong and muscular body. And today morning I did see the result of what I had achieve recently pay off. I could see my muscle at my chest has become bulkier and I was pretty happy with it. I will continue on doing the exercise, even though I may not doing it properly but I want to do it because I want to achieve the result behind all the hard work. I realize that we must do something instead of dreaming about it to see the result you always dreamed about. There is no fault of dreaming about something but we have to do it after we dreamed about it because the thing you dream about is something you really want, something I really want. And I can say there are still many things I want to do from the list I keep in my mind that I put the things I dreamed to do in my life or in the future.

I want to start a new story. And the new story I want to talk about will be my attendance to the taekwondo practice. This is my first time of knowing such a remarkable self defense mechanism. I have wanted to learn taekwondo since I came back from national service. I found that I very weak and many of the heavy jobs set out in the camp I could not do it. I felt I do not enjoy my life all this time of being an outgoing teenager. All of my friends there always go out with their friends for doing some extreme activities. And all I have done is just to sit at home and watching television. Due to the activities they done, they are able to develop a much healthier and stronger body. Not like me, I am not even able to hold a person as he falling down with his back to me.

But I will not be a hedonistic person, I will try to use my remaining precious time to enjoy the life I really want it to be. I will enjoy every taekwondo practice I go in the future. Although it is hard but I will consider it as a meaningful experience that I ever have, no matter it is wonderful or intimidating. I appreciate all the things I have in my life, including these experiences I am going to get.

Written in 18-6-13

Quote of Today

"Sometimes we lied because we need to"

Diary of 26 December 2012 No. 2

      Another shit thing had happen. My mood is going wrong now and here comes the other one that makes my mood even worse. I was happy, watching "Just A Little Bit Better" and suddenly a man that appears to be the repairman for my house's electronics gate came and makes me feeling down a little.
      Ok...I know he was just doing his work just as what my father told him so I learnt to retreat a little. But things gone wrong again as my father came back. He starts to acuse my mom of taking his key and he is unhappy about it. Ok...I don't know where was his key but I preety sure that my mom didn't take it. There is a big percentage that my mom won't take his key because we all know the consequence of taking his key which we will just end up being scolded by him only. Trust me, you would not want to hear him talking about all that crap of taking his key and his other stuff.
      Ok...I know I may be wrong of saying my mom doesn't take the key(maybe it is her that take the key), so, I will not say that my dad was wrong about my mom taking his key thing. But, we already used to it and I don't even argue with my dad or else he will get sad and start nagging. So, the best way to get the things done is by asking my mom whetehr she did take my father's key or not and find out where his key is. If I couldn't find his key, I think I will just let it go and prepare myself of hearing all the"speech" he has to give even thouh I can't bear it. So, I guess I will just write it down in here to express the problem I faced and the same problem that makes me headache.

Diary of 26 December 2012

      Actually it is a good day where I go out with my mom and my aunts together with my mom's best friend for a breakfast in Butterworth. It starts out great but it turns upside down when I phoned the health clinic in Bukit Mertajam for medical checkup as the required preparation in PLKN(National Service).
      At first, there is a nice lady that answered the phone but it appeared to be a wrong dialing number. So, I tried the other number suggested by the lady but it turned out I still get nothing. The way the another lady answered my question in the phone was intimidating to me even though she didn't do anything that traten my life. But the memory when talking with her was unbearable. It kept playing in my mind that I could not forget our conversation. She kept ignore her conversation with me and talked with her colleague that it made my confidence kept going down. I had to admit I'm not a confident man. Another thing was she kind of not willing to receive my visit there. It appeared to me that she wanted to push away the responsibility of having me there to receive the medical checkup. I was so sad and dissapointed and now I also appear to be paranoid. I freaked out inside of me!
      Now, I have made my decision to go to the health clinic at Berapit although I do not expect much from that health clinic. I think it will turn out to be the same worse service I get in that government health clinic.
      I know I sound like a loser, being defated just by a phone call but I have never in my life have so much things appeared like this. I have to call the driving schoolmyself to get myself some useful information. It has changed permanently that I have to depend on myself to get things right now but I still feel like I'm not ready yet. I still want the help from my parent and I think that I'm not ready to step into the real world yet.
      In conclusion, I don't know what to do in that damn government clinic in Berapit. I'm thinking just to go there and find out for myself.
      Seriously, I feeling good after having all my emotion being released through my blog and I don't scare a bit of talking something very personal about me because no one will ever read my blog except some true friends I met in my life.
      I'm sorry for the grammar mistakes and inorganized writing and spelling mistakes(maybe) but I just expressed what buried deep inside me just to make my heart feeling light again.